grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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