I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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