if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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