So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize