if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
