i jhust puked up my retainher.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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