Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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