my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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