Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
