They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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