matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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