Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
