I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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