My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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