Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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