So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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