I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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