Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.

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  (708): A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch. http://tfl.nu/zmaj
  Replies (24) Good night (4034) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (898) Bad night (3199)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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  (215): distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard. http://tfl.nu/840x
  Replies (36) Good night (4372) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.

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  (904): SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER. http://tfl.nu/kfu8
  Replies (23) Good night (5427) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

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  (314): Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers http://tfl.nu/hxbz
  Replies (4) Good night (2573) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (713) Bad night (3487)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (23) Good night (2899) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin

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  (209): we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin http://tfl.nu/oa4p
  Replies (1) Good night (1060) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.

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  (416): okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food. (647): Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40. http://tfl.nu/dr99
  Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."

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  (920): Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth." http://tfl.nu/xs9s
  Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (230): View more from

  Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.

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  (230): Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success. http://tfl.nu/u50l
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.

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  (727): After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since. http://tfl.nu/pkb8
  Replies (2) Good night (339) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.

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  (304): You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve. http://tfl.nu/0po8
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.

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  (864): Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall. http://tfl.nu/4mxx
  Replies (1) Good night (221) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.

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  (570): I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one. http://tfl.nu/0y92
  Replies (1) Good night (166) Bad night (386)

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