Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
