In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im so drunk with asians
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
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My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.