I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir