Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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(310): View more from California

A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.

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(815): View more from Illinois

No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep

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(847): View more from Illinois

That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.

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(323): View more from California

Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not

(818): View more from California

Stop it right now

(323): View more from California

This time face forward

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I came home in someone else's underwear this morning

(1-865): View more from Tennessee

Atleast you got a souvenir

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