I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You left your underwear on the fireplace
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nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one