Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.

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  (586): if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me. http://tfl.nu/c8kx
  Replies (1) Good night (1415) Bad night (656)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.

  (1-731): View more from Tennessee

  ohh what kind?

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  (731): new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street. (1-731): ohh what kind? http://tfl.nu/u9xt
  Replies (18) Good night (1412) Bad night (2589)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.

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  (937): you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/qnaa
  Replies (29) Good night (5945) Bad night (1400)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her

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  (312): She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her http://tfl.nu/ua6n
  Replies (13) Good night (845) Bad night (5714)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4701) Bad night (1206)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

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  (712): Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be. http://tfl.nu/n7rl
  Replies (8) Good night (6173) Bad night (1184)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  (502): Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely . http://tfl.nu/di6d
  Replies (18) Good night (4563) Bad night (1761)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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  (407): Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants? http://tfl.nu/pjw5
  Replies (18) Good night (3679) Bad night (1183)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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  (425): the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power http://tfl.nu/ghbk
  Replies (7) Good night (2940) Bad night (937)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.

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  (210): I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer. http://tfl.nu/a3pu
  Replies (8) Good night (3290) Bad night (763)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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  (410): The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/hr46
  Replies (5) Good night (3224) Bad night (884)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.

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  (512): I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours. http://tfl.nu/179p
  Replies (8) Good night (575) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.

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  (907): I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want. http://tfl.nu/b2fd
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.

  (716): View more from New York

  The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers

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  (716): Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one. (716): The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers http://tfl.nu/7hy9
  Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...

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  (207): And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder... http://tfl.nu/u2tx
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (142)

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