my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.