When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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