I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
