so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
