I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
