she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
