I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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