drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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