Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The ass gains better be worth it
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