puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
PANTIES FOUND
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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