After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
