Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
