I think i peed on brittanys purse
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
