We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
