Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
