Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize