im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
