I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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