What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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