just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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