I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
