Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
