if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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