You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize