is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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