the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize