I wish i was in the wii world.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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