I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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