imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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