You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
