At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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