Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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