Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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