perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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