Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize