Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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