The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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