p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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