his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
