Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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