whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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