I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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