You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
