new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
