Already got asked if we're dating
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
