Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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