I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
