Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have fence marks all over my body
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
