Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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